Wednesday, April 3, 2019

that wiley companion, the mind...

Lately my mind has been grinding and grinding, revisiting again and again what I interpret as being ‘negative ‘ scenarios, trying to find some reconciliation (while at the same time quite probably re-justifying my current perspective, my current interpretation. I’ve been kind of driving myself crazing. 

Last night I had two dreams. In one I encountered a person I know in ‘waking life.’ She kinda gave me the stink eye and I was chuckling to myself about this. In the second dream I was sitting at the end of a row of friends (my wife being the only person I actually know) at a sporting event. A woman says something funny and my wife and I start laughing with her about what she said. A man at the other end of the row of our friends gets very upset at us for laughing. He is very serious about this. My first inclination is to get serious and upset as well, but the madder he got the more we laughed.

I think that both of these dreams are telling me to quit taking the actions of my mind so seriously, to stop getting angry at the contents of my mind and my state of mind. I can get soooo serious about my current perspectives about myself, and so… not necessarily angry, but very frustrated when my mind goes places I don’t want it to go. I forget that the mind has a mind of it’s own, and I take it’s wanderings very personally - and therefore very seriously and frustratedly.

A wonderful teacher and mentor of mine, Angeles Arrien, said that where we cannot laugh with ourselves about ourselves is an indication of where we are attached. Being able to laugh at our foibles is truly a gift to ourselves. It loosens changes our perspectives, and subsequently things up, and lightens our loads. 

And I get to enjoy the realization that I have a lot to laugh about!

To quote the Thai Buddhist master, Ajahn Chah, "If you let go a little, you will have a little peace.  If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace.  And if you let go completely, you will have complete peace."