It's amazing what is available to us if we remain open and consider, not locked up on our own world. It seems like whenever we truly connect with what is real, interrelating with it from that place of 'home,' how there is a texture that can sooth, give meaning, feel right and true. I read a quote from the Buddha the other day that goes along the lines of the minute we respond to conflict with anger it becomes all about us and not about finding the truth.
How difficult it is to authentically seek the truth, to genuinely be and feel true. How easy it is to get wrapped up in a tunnel vision of the our selves and sacrifice something vital and so alive. I'm starting to really see in continual terms how my thought processes, those just barely conscious/subconscious, habitual, and repetitive ways to reminding myself of my own false self system. They continually run around in my head in ways that reinforce my own misconceptions, bringing me to a place of constriction, limit, and suffering. The need to remember, and remember again and again. To return home to a place of openness and consideration, of soothing and meaning and truth again and again and again.
A meditation master named Muktananda said it's about getting rid of what we haven't got. How nice to have humour in the irony.